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I believe: Marty Duswalt-Pinney F&E+3 ~ Introduction ~ I would appreciate your thoughts and comments, please sign our guestbook or email me personally at
Duffy's Closet to my attention.
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| ~ A Christmas Tradition ~ It is just after midnight Christmas morning. The tree is still lit with lights, the house still quiet. The presents a glorious sight, all bright colors and ribbons. Everyone is sound asleep, hopefully dreaming about what is to come later this morning. This is my favorite time, a quiet time to reflect on the past year, the new year coming, a time for remembering all the love I have given and the love I have received this past year. Sipping my Irish coffee, listening to classical selection of Christmas music. I am filled with the joy and peace of what this holiday is truly about. I feel the closest to God at this moment, and feel his presence. I talk to the spirits of my loved ones not able to be on this earth this night. Knowing that they are only a thought away from my heart. Never lost just not physically here. It almost is as if we are all here watching the tree together. Just chatting about all things important and a few just a bit silly. What a group we are. My Dad with his Irish wit and charm, Andy with his logic and wisdom. Marshall with that secret smile I so cherished. My Grandparents holding hands the love emanating so strongly from them for each other and for the family they loved. My Aunt Helen still vibrant, opinionated and full of humor. All so alive in my heart this night. I am so thankful for this. This is what this holiday is truly about, family, friends, at peace with and enveloped with God's love. I am truly blessed this night. My Christmas wish for everyone is to have this kind of moment, wherever you find yourselves, with the people who are closest to you. It would be the best Christmas present I could give. |
~ A first kiss ~ How young we are when this happens. How unaware we are. And more importantly how innocent and in awe we were. A simple kiss. Possibly a peck on the cheek, or a quick kiss to the mouth most often times missing to catch just a corner of the lips. Eyes closed so tightly, yet our hearts open to the wonder of flesh touching flesh. I remember mine well, as we all do. For some reason that first one stays in our memory. Most other first kisses in future relationship as we wind our way through life, we dismiss for one reason or another and do not hold so fiercely to. His name was Kenny, he was just maybe an inch taller than myself. We had been on a date, hunting for crawfish and frogs in the stream near my home. After a day of exploring, and splashing in the water. Giggling, play fighting, and coming home with nothing to show for our endeavor my mother took him home. I as usual went along for the ride, and as our mothers were in the house talking, most likely smiling and talking about this puppy love between their children. We sat on his porch, I remember it as a very big porch, but it could have been just a front stoop, who knows, that is not kept alive too well in the memory of that day. Not sure why, but I can remember he had dark hair, and at that one moment he leaned his head closer to mine, and kissed me. A quick tentative kiss. I was surprised and a bit startled as I recall, but it felt really nice. As all boys that age he turned bright red, surprised at himself for his impulsive act. Not knowing what it meant or what it could mean. We both knew that it was a right of passage for us, we were going to the next level of our relationship. No longer buddies, not in the typical tomboy and boy pals. We were now an item. A couple, going steady. What innocents we were. We promised each other we would be together forever, and in the sense of our ages, all of 6 years old, I guess we were. We went steady until 2nd grade. That is forever in the eyes of so young. We held hands, walked together, played together, but never again kissed. It was a one time thing between us. We again went down to the stream, again played baseball together, again raced each other to see who was the fastest. All the important things in life at that stage of life. But one day in 2nd grade, we just went our separate ways. No real fight, no real reason, just life taking us in different paths. I will always remember his name. I will always remember his smile, his laughter, and most importantly that oh so very shy first kiss. And I will never pass a stream, or see a frog leaping, or see crawfish swimming without that moment in time coming to me in the sweetest of memories any woman can have. For that moment I hold so dear is of pure magic. |
~The Balloon~ As I lay in bed...looking on the end post...there is a red balloon...and it brings a smile...and a memory....along with a giggle or two...and the air is slowly escaping from it's perfect shape...yet the memory will always stay intact of that night.... It started so simply really...accepting a ride from a man I had met at work...a nice man...an intriguing man...someone that caught my attention and that is not an easy thing to do... There is a sensuality about him...a vibrancy about him ..that compels me to him...a sense of kindred spirit perhaps...a presence that demands my attention...how or why this is I do not know...but it has been this way from that first moment I met him...it was not what he said..or what he did...or what he looked like...it was what was beneath the surface... he got through my indifference... That night we were riding back to my house and decided to stop for a drink...normally that is something I would not do...but somehow I did not want the night to end so quickly....intuition maybe...or curiosity...or just a karmic sense of discovery...I was not sure...but I was certain I must go... We talked for hours..about silly things..about serious things...sharing time with another patron at the bar...challenging each other....testing each other....and enjoying the each other's company... I began wondering what it would be like if he kissed me...what his hands would feel like...what was behind the laughter and joking...when I looked into his eyes and watched him...there was a sadness there that I could identify with...and then in an instant it would change into this sparkle of mischief...he hides within himself so well....but he let me see...and that is what captured me.... HE LET ME SEE.... We had so much in common...how could that be...how could this stranger get through the layers of protection I have hidden behind so well all my life... He was nervous about telling me something...dark and sinister or so he thought...but I already knew...not that anyone had to tell me...I just felt the truth...and understood... a silent language within my soul....no words...yet he had spoken to me none-the-less.. As he finally got the words out...my heart felt so much pain for this man...not my pain....but his pain...it was as if it blanketed his body ...his eyes were filled with such darkness...his head bowed and shoulders slumped from the sheer weight of it...I wanted to hold him..cradle him..shield this incredible man from whatever could cause him harm...a stranger yes...in the way of time...but not in the way of spirit...I understood ... He asked if he could kiss me...and I said yes...a most natural thing...my body responding to his...that kiss changed the direction of were we would go from that moment on... That night held many things for us...a heated passion neither of us expected...and it continues still...if we are within reach of each other...or just standing across from each other....we are connected.... The passion between us remains intense...so much so that we cannot hold back...I find myself doing things I would never consider at this stage in any relationship ...yet it is so much my nature to give into this ...it overwhelms my senses and I am compelled to freely give what is needed from me...I do not feel guilt..or shame...and I wonder why that is as well...but when I am with this man....I want him...it is as simple as that.... I am not sure were this is going to go..but it is far from done...timing...shyness..insecurity ..play a lot in this game we play....the journey has just begun...and we will play this out...Somehow I know this is how it is meant to happen... So I will look at the balloon at the head of my bed...and I will continue to smile...for there will be a day of reckoning for us...and that is coming soon...very soon... I feel it... |
~ 1972 ~ I remember the first time you touched me....that magical moment that I knew we would find in each other a passion neither of us had ever known....I remember looking into your eyes and seeing gentleness....yet a hunger that matched my own...I remember as your hands caressed my skin...the shiver that ran through every muscle...starting as a small ripple...radiating through each fiber...till it seemed my body would shake apart from within....to you it might have seemed like a shiver...yet to me...it was wave upon wave of excitement...almost as if electricity were weaving it's way through me.... I remember your scent...strong..male...surrounding me...taunting me...beckoning me....to yield to you... I remember your kiss...soft and tentative at first...testing my response...and the taste of you...Oh God how I loved the taste of you...tongues darting...delving into the depths of our mouths...tasting each other...bringing passion alive...daring it to hide...demanding it to come forth...a true moment of reckoning...my body was alive with the most urgent need to be consumed by you...to yield power...to open completely both physically and emotionally to you.... In those first few moments...I knew I would be lost in you...I would give of me what you desired and in doing so would find what I had always looked for...I would find peace physically...totally sated...totally full filled as I had never been....yet more importantly I would find my heart...and Love... Thank you for this ....I have never forgotten...it is a moment and memory I savor often...it brings me to a safe place....filled with the magic only lovers can share... |
~Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle~ I have to preface this story with the fact that Joe DiMaggio was a hero of my father’s and Mickey Mantle was my hero then and still now. My father taught me the respect and awe of the game of baseball. Letting me sit on his lap telling me about the players and the games he witnessed and all about his hero’s and the magic they gave to the game he loved so much. He instilled in me the same love for the game and awe struck admiration for some of it’s greatest players. They became my first true hero’s, Mickey Mantle being the greatest of them all to me. Now my father had a ball signed by DiMaggio and he would bring it out and tell me about the players and let me hold the ball during the telling of these miraculous feats of play. The ball became a touch stone both to my Dad and my heroes. When I was little he promised that someday as I was the oldest he would leave this magic ball to me when he passed away, so I could tell my children the stories and pass on this love of the game as he had done with me. Shortly after my father passed away I asked about the ball and no one could find it. We suspect someone just took it and I was heart broken. My touch stone to my father was forever lost to me just as he was now. Not long afterwards I saw an advertisement in the Houston paper that DiMaggio and Mantle were coming to Houston to sign autographs and to meet people. I was so excited finally I would meet these giants of men, and I would get another ball signed by DiMaggio and Mantle too.. I got up early and went down to the venue they were at and to my dismay and sadness I found out that Joe DiMaggio would not be signing balls and that both DiMaggio and Mantle’s allotment of signatures were already sold out. So I debated even going inside but something in my heart told me I should go and at least see them. I might never get a chance to do that again. So I went in, went to the barrier and watched them signing and greeting those lucky enough to have been there earlier. They were both very gracious and talked and laughed with the fans. Mickey looked ill but still there was my idol and I was honored to be in the same room as him. Joe DiMaggio looked well and was signing and shaking hands with everyone. Only later did I know he was a difficult man and that was quite odd for him to do. As I watched and felt a sadness at the loss of the baseball and even more sadness that my father was not there with me. I felt a warmth come over me and a gentle hug encompass my body. And in a whisper my father said to me it is all right I am here. I know he was there, and I know it was his hug and his words that day. And I will never hear the names of Mantle or DiMaggio without thinking of my father that day and all the days I was blessed to have with him. My father was my hero first and always. I have since gotten a signed ball of DiMaggio’s and I have shared the stories with my son and will pass on the ball to him and he will continue the tradition with his sons. I also have many Mickey Mantle items and all are treasures to me. I know my father is watching over me, and I know he is saying hey I turned into a Mets fan, how about those Mets. When I pass I will reply to him, the Mets never had Gehrig, Ruth, Mantle, DiMaggio, Berra, Munson, Maris, Ford, Jeter, Clemens, or any of the other greats of this sport that all wore the Yankee pinstripes. GO YANKEES !!!!!
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